After a recent ecstasy and group sex binge in scandalous Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, I spent the following sunny and beautiful afternoon regaining my serotonin and my self worth watching a little league soccer match in Clearwater.

There comes a moment in every major league baseball game when some group of nerds tries to start The Wave. You’re sitting there enjoying the game, sipping on a cold $8 commemorative cup of Bud Lite, and scarfing down some peanuts when all of the sudden some buffoons want you to stand up and throw your arms in the air repeatedly for no god damn reason whatsoever.

Why are people always hating on vanilla? What gives? The general consensus is that vanilla is plain and boring. On my last date, I opted to treat this seemingly rational young lady to some Haagen-Dazs ice cream at our local heladeria. By the by, this is one of my many flawless go-to’s when it comes to courting a member of the soft-skinned gender.

Deodorant used to be enough. A splash of cologne used to lay the metaphorical steel tracks straight into Love Canal, USA. Today, we men are faced with yet another accouterment with which to mask our congenital stink. I am speaking of male body spray.
We've all seen the commercials by now.

The other day I got a surprising letter from one of our faithful readers. Allow me to paraphrase, if I may:

Dear Tim @ Steve’s Word,

Love the site. You’re my favorite writer. Keep up the good work. Anyway, I’ve got a little problem, a big problem actually, that I think you are probably most apt to offering some sort of helpful advice.