Top 5 Words of Wisdom

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Top 5 Words of Wisdom
Despite the fact that things generally suck in the world today, it is still important to look on the bright side, even if you need a cliche to force you to do so. Last week I gave you my thoughts regarding trite words of encouragement.  I may have sounded like a bitter old grump but I promised you I would reveal my more positive and sappy side this week.  Some phrases and idioms, however cheesy they may be, continue to ring true during this tumultuous time in our society and need to be recognized.  Somehow I ended up sounding like a bitter old grump again but nonetheless, here are the top 5 overused expressions that I think still have a place in this world.

 

#5 You'll get what's coming to you
 
I use this frequently when some a-hole has dicked over one of my friends.  I also use it when some nice guy decided he didn't like one of my friends anymore and must now be seen as an a-hole who dicked over one of my friends.  Either way, I tell the emotionally bruised chica not to worry and that the boy in question will get what's coming to him.  And I actually think he will... if he's really is an a-hole, he will probably end up a Tool Academy cast-off, unhappy and alone in his roid rage.
 
#4 Every cloud has a silver lining
 
This glass-half-full catchphrase has a special place in my heart.  I think it is important to believe there must be some good somewhere in all dark and stormy situations.  One prime example of a silver lining comes from a bride-to-be in Illinois. This is from my fave morning commute magazine, The Week:
 
"Six days before Teanne Harris was to get married in a Halloween-themed wedding in Des Plaines, Ill., her groom got cold feet. Left with all manner of decorations, flowers, and other wedding paraphernalia, Harris decided to donate them to the nearby Asbury Court Retirement Community for a free party. More than 300 of the retirement home’s residents attended, dancing to a DJ and dressing in costumes ranging from Raggedy Ann to Dracula."
 
Although Ms. Harris is surely under one supreme rain cloud, those old timers were able to bask in the thin sliver of light her pain produced for them.  If only one of them dressed as Count Chocula, I think the lining could have been a bit brighter.  As for her ex-fiance?  I am sure he will get what's coming to him.
 
#3 Haste makes waste
 
I am pathologically late and a life-long procrastinator.  Just ask any of my professors, my current boss, or the Steve's Word peeps who wait patiently for my Top 5 to be completed (hint: it is not their fault it doesn't go up until after lunch).  This is why I am qualified to attest to the importance of this expression.  My time management skills have aided in the life-long production of sub-par work.  Had I began projects earlier, researched a little longer, or proof-read a few more times, I would most likely be much more successful and not living with my mom. If you need another example proving that haste does in fact make waste, just ask Prime Minister Gordon Brown.  He had to issue an apology to the mother of soldier killed in Afghanistan because a sympathy note he wrote was a "hastily scrawled insult."  Apparently, he even spelled the woman's name wrong.  I understand Prime Minister.  I am sure you sat down to write it but then realized your closet needed reorganizing and your Facebook status had not been updated since yesterday.
 
#2 Do unto others as you would have others do unto you
 
Ah, the Golden Rule.  This expression is universally used throughout elementary schools in order to prevent students from smacking each other or stealing a classmate's fruit-by-the-foot.  It makes wonder where this chick went to kindergarten.  This golden code of conduct is applicable in adulthood as well, especially in relationships where the number of BJ requests is disproportionate to the number of times one's tongue has been put to good use.  If you want something done unto you fellas, you must do it unto us too.
 
#1 Rome wasn't built in a day
 
My support for this timeless idiom can be understood through a selected portion of a gchat convo I once had.  I actually used this phrase in a conversation. And I was totally serious.  I tend to cringe when people brazenly use these types of sayings so that is why this chat is so important.  Lucky for me, my chat friend graciously ignored my uninventive wording and let me rant (presumably to myself). .
 
me: doesnt anyone have faith in the person we elected as our president?dont you all now that rome wasnt built in a day? it seems so many people do not respect obama for anything that he does, and they just want to get angry people need patience. i completely respect obama for seemingly trying to fully understand whats going on before taking action. same with the iran talks and sending more troops to afghanistan
 
person i am chatting with: we're in a agreement
 
me: just thought i would fill you in on whats on my mind grapes. speaking of mind grapes.. catch any of 30 rock?
 
 
This is where the conversation became much more interesting.

 

4 Comments

  • 1

    I believe that a dear friend once told me "He will get what's coming to him" after a bitter breakup with my boyfriend who I was living with and had been cheating on me through a lovely site called hornymatches.com.(If that doesn't account for an fml post, then I don't know what does)

    And sure enough he got it. He is currently living in a friend's basement, has gotten awful black studded earrings and looks like a homeless man.

    Ah, karma, how sweet you taste.

  • 2

    Once I placed a curse on the writers of Stevesword for not including me in a Top 5 list. As of yet I still have not made the Top 5 list. What's wrong with my curse?

  • 3

    You must have marshmallow bits in your eyes, Count. Read closely.

  • 4

    Me? I'm partial to a word o' wisdom I heard from a friendly, cauliflower-nosed Ruskie: "No matter how much you shake and dance, the last drop always goes down your pants."

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