Top 5 Vampires

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Top 5 Vampires

Vampires are so cold they are hot right now.  Kinda like frost bite. I thought they deserved a top five before their fifteen minutes of fame are up.  Although, they are vampires so I guess they get fifteen minutes every hundred years or so.  Nonetheless, here they are.

#5 Edward Cullen

And by Edward Cullen, I mean the romantic, telepathic vampire in the Twilight series, not Robert Pattinson (who will probably end up in another top five at some point).  As a old head in a teenage body, this vampire has perfected the art of multi-generational macking. However, he is a perfect gentleman who restrains himself from eating the one he loves.  I don't know about the rest of you, but if Edward was my man, he could eat me until the sun came up. 

#4 Count Von Count, more commonly known as "The Count"

This cuddly vampire, a rare quality in this population, deserves a place in this top five for many reasons.  Let's count them! 1. He defies the norm. This vampire has no need to avoid the sun and is able to rest his head at sundown.  I bet there are many of his kind who are super jealous and would love the chance to hit up the Jersey Shore or experience a snooze button.  2. He rolls with a cool crowd. I wish the guest list for my next party consisted of Oscar, Cookie Monster, and Snuffleupagus. And that is not a drug reference.  3. He loves what he does. This guy is so passionate about counting, he even counts to himself when he is alone. That's not what most men do during their alone time so that makes The Count one of a kind. 4. He is a musical soul. He is so moved by his chosen profession that he can't help but break into song when the opportunity presents itself. Whether it's bats, clouds, or cookies, The Count has a song to accompany his numerical fetish. 5. He is the only vampire I would trust to babysit my children if I had any. Not only would they be able to count to the high heavens with a babysitter like The Count, they would also understand the importance of friendship and sharing, qualities appreciated by all walks of life and, as it seems, the immortal undead.

#3 Count Dracula

In this hoopla about modern vampires let's not forget the dude who got the ball rolling.  This evil Transylvanian laid the foundation for this new young crew of vamps who text, play wii, and live freely among humans. These kids don't know how good they have it these days.  Grandpa Dracs would be rolling over in his grave if he hadn't already climbed out of it.

#2 Eric from True Blood

I know Vampire Bill is the central male vampire in this inexplicably addicting series but if I had my way, we would be seeing less of Bill "snooze-fest" Compton and more of the sexy, Swedish bad guy.  His dry sense of humor and ability to kick ass is enough to send anyone to the Darkside. Just ask Sookie; we all know she wants him.  And when Eric showed his sensitive side during the Godric episodes, I thought I had found my soul mate if I did not have a soul and was immortal.

#1 Eli from Let the Right One In

This mini man-eater may look like a 12-year-old but she has more to worry about than your typical middle-schooler. The 200-year-old tween has serious boy problems. As her current mortal male companion ages, she realizes, presumably not for the first time, the need for an upgrade.  She finds a younger and less jaded significant other who might be able to better assist with her peculiar diet.  These vampire-whipped lads eventually catch humans and drain their blood into a jug for Eli.  Romantic, isn't it? If only I could find a man who would bring me jars of blood.  It would be nice to have dinner on the table when I get home every once in a while!  It seems she has had boys falling in love with her for over 200 years.  This little lady must have mad skills!  Some people can't even find love in one lifetime, let alone three.  Whether it's for a meal or for love, this pint-sized blood sucker sure knows how to snag a man.

4 Comments

  • 1

    Love the post, L boogie.

    I never heard of LTROI...

    but Alexander Skarsgard = Serious Yum!

    You should start reading the Sookie books. They suck, of course, but are just what you need to keep the vamp obsession going until the next season starts!

    M

  • 2

    don't talk about my boyfriend that way you whore!

  • 3

    I will exact my revenge upon every last one of you Steve's worders.

    -"The REAL" Count Chocula

  • 4

    ::ahem, ahem::

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