Top 5 Reasons to Dress Up for Halloween

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Top 5 Reasons to Dress Up for Halloween
On Monday I asked a few people about their weekends and if they dressed up for Halloween.  Some had creative costumes, but most said they intentionally ignored the holiday and went to the movies or just stayed at home and complained about the state of the world.  I completely understand complaining about the state of the world; I don't think I could write for this website if I didn't.  But I also think that sometimes it's nice to participate in the silliness that can be Halloween.  Sure, the most popular costumes these days are Sexy fill-in-the-blanks and I think that type of costume definitely has its benefits.  Who am I to begrudge people the chance to slut it up to their heart's content?  But there are also other options for those of us who are more insecure and over the age of 25.  It doesn't always have to be about the skin.  There are still a few good reasons to dress up for Halloween.  Here are 5 of them.
 
# 5 Sweatpants or a bath robe are acceptable evening attire
 
My sister has always wanted to be able to wear her bathrobe out at night.  Who hasn't? To appease this burning desire, she decided to wear a robe, slippers, and curlers in her hair on Halloween and when asked who she was she simply replied "Your Mom." Genius!  This year I was 1/6 of a full Double Dare cast, Mark Summers included, so my costume consisted of red sweatpants, a Double Dare t-shirt, and sneakers.  I felt like I was on my way to the gym.  At one point our whole crew took off to catch a taxi, leaving other by-standers in the dust.  Normally, not everyone in your group is ready for a physical challenge at a moment's notice. You can really get a lot accomplished when you are all geared up in work out clothes.  And you stay much warmer than the sexy police officers lingering around.
 
# 4 You can show off your knowledge of current events
 
We all like to pretend we know the most about what is going on in the world and what better way to do that than to dress up like a current news item that only people who read the paper would know about.  Not only do you get to brag about how smart you are, it also decreases the amount of time you waste talking to someone you probably wouldn't want to be friends with anyway.  If they don't get your costume, why bother? They're clearly not a person of the world like yourself. 
 
# 3 You can live out a suppressed dream
 
Have you ever wanted to be president of United States without actually running in an election?  Now is your chance! Have you always dreamt of being a rock star despite the fact you have no talent? This is your day!  Did you ever want to referee a football game in your black and white striped undergarments?  Go for it! Halloween is your free pass to fly your freak flag without reason.  Be creative because depending on your line of work, dressing as Rainbow Bright or Mr. T on any other day may require some serious explaining.
 
# 2 Boys can attempt bold facial hair
 
Whether you disguise it as Billy Mays, Magnum P.I., or Jayson Werth, we all know you just wanted to try out that beard, moustache, or goatee that you never had the balls to attempt before.  You even get a few days before and after Halloween when donning the self grown mask is still acceptable.  These days are the true test of whether or not you can pull it off.  If you constantly have to say "It's for a costume," that may be a sign that the look is not working for you.   Don't worry, your commitment to the role is still appreciated and could possibly end up helping you with #1.
 
# 1 Your chances of getting laid are increased
 
Don't chalk it up to the extreme amounts of exposed cleavage on Halloween; I think there are more reasons for all the panties that are dropped. Conversations are so easily started when the room is full of drunk television stars, sports teams, and 90's cartoon characters that your chances of getting some action are significantly increased.  You have many more opening lines at your disposal and you can even hide your insecurities behind Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle mask if needed.  Anyone would want to go home with Michelangelo: he is a party dude.   So the next time you consider staying home on this night of ghosts, ghouls, and groping, just think of what you may be able to achieve.  Have you ever bagged a babe dressed as a sexy fire girl or made a pimp be your bitch for once? If not, Halloween could be your time to shine.

3 Comments

  • 1

    Not even a mention? I'm hurt.

  • 2

    Stop picking on me, Count! Your time will come. Until then, could you please lift the curse? We at Steve's Word fail enough as it is without your evil chocolatey charms placed on our heads.

  • 3

    I was hoping to hump Rafael this Halloween. He's cool, but rude.

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