I have made it my New Years resolution to watch more movies. I enjoy a good cinematic adventure but for reasons unknown I have a difficult time getting myself to the movie theater, even when I lived upstairs from one. I also have a tendency to hold on to my Netflix movies, unwatched, for such a long time that when I do in fact return them, it is possible I could watch the film again on TBS just a couple of weeks later. This is why once the clock struck twenty-oh-10, I declared it to be the year of movie watching. Think of all the interesting discussions in which I could participate! I will be the hit of the party on Oscar night! I knew I had to start right away or this resolution would go out the window, just like my attempt to stop nail biting did at 12:15 AM on January 1st. Lucky for me, there was a movie that even one without such a resolution could not avoid. A movie that will undoubtedly change the way we view the big screen! A movie more expensive to see than ever before! That is how I found myself, on the Saturday after New Years, grinning stupidly in surprisingly cool 3-D glasses, wishing I was a blue alien. Avatar would be a great way to kick-off any year and the fact that it coincided with my movie watching resolution just added to my enchantment. If you have not yet had the joy of seeing this movie, you must. And here are the reasons why: The top 5 reasons Avatar is awesome.
# 5 Sigourney Weaver is one hot alien
When I first saw Dr. Grace Augustine crawl into her white, coffin-style converter thingy and come out on the other side in Pandora, I could not help but chuckle. She makes a grand entrance, with her loud, bossy voice, as a blue-skinned, muscular and tall alien in an inexplicably perfect fitting tank top and shorts. Where did she find these Na'vi sized, sexy yet rugged clothes? My movie going friends and I wondered afterward if it was a requirement Sigourney established beforehand that her avatar be attractive and scantily clad. At first, it annoyed me. Not an unusual response for me.. I am quick to become annoyed with things of this nature. However, I quickly changed my mind. Again, not an unusual response for me. Why shouldn't Ms. Weaver have the chance to be a sexy, Na'vi version of herself? Isn't that what we all do when creating a cyber self of some sort? Just last week, I created a profile on my beau's XBox that ended up looking like everything I pretend I am. Furthermore, the movie is about becoming what you cannot be or wish you were. The main character regains use of his legs and the nerdy Spellman boy (the one in the movie) is tough. I guess in this case, Sigourney wanted to be smart, sexy, and enormous.
#4 It is predictable
I know this is usually an undesirable characteristic for a movie but in this situation, the unoriginality in plot development added to the enjoyment of the things that actually are original about this movie. The story line is basic and easily followed which frees up brain space for the fantastic colors and stunning visual effects. If the story consisted of twists and turns, unexpected events, and a surprise ending, my brain might have exploded. Not to sound like a complete nerd but following the bright white seeds from the Tree of Souls float around Jake Sully or watching the Ikran (I looked it up) fly through the floating mountains was enough to keep me interested. No need for a Sixth Sense ending here.. it is what it is. And it is awesome.
#3 It ends with a slow jam
At the end of the movie, it is time to get down with an Avatar slow jam. I don't know if the song is sung by Celine Dion or her Na'vi counterpart, but during the credits we are graced with a special treat that reeks of the Titanic and hearts going on. "I See You", the designated theme from Avatar, is sappy enough to make you want to find an alien and get it on. Because this will most likely be quite difficult, I can only assume this song will instead be used as the Winter Formal theme song in school across the nation and give every nerd wedding an easy choice for the bride and groom first dance. Why is this awesome, you ask? Once again, Avatar is not claiming to be something it is not. It is cheesy and corny and serves up the goods accordingly, which I will scarf down without hesitation.
#2 It has something called the "flux vortex"
Most likely a close relative of the flux capacitor, this is apparently an area of Pandora where no tracking devices or high-tech, fancy flying instruments work properly. It also causes mountains to float. The fact this is called the "flux vortex" evokes both eye rolling and amusement. The action and adventure taking place in Avatar is peppered with ludicrous quotes and goofy names (i.e. unobtainium) and can best be appreciated when one suspends any expectations of smart dialogue and clever, witty lines. This is not a "thinker" and the banter between characters proves that; especially anything uttered by the Colonel who tell us Venezuala was some mean bush and if there is a hell you might wanna go there for some R&R after a tour on Pandora. The way I feel about this aspect of Avatar is the same way I felt about the movie Taken that consists of Liam Neeson kicking everyone's asses. It is action-filled, serious silliness that you can only enjoy if you just sit back and enjoy the ride.
#1 You look super cool watching it
During the movie, I looked around at the audience and thought "what a bunch of hipsters!" The new and improved 3-D glasses are a definite bonus and look just like something you would buy at Urban Outfitters or another cooler store I don't know about. The 3-D feature of this film was not as extreme as I thought it would be; I never ducked in fear or felt like I would vomit. But, in my opinion, the subtly of the three dimensional extravaganza was what made it so beautiful. I didn't feel like I was at an amusement park; I felt like I was in Pandora. With really hip shades on. The theater told us to recycle our glasses after the movie but for some reason, I couldn't part with mine. Never having experienced a movie like Avatar, I felt like I needed to hold onto my first pair of hipster, 3-D glasses as a souvenir. Perhaps when I put them on in the future, I too will step onto Pandora as a super sexy Na'vi, flying on dragons and fighting the bad guys! Or perhaps I will just look like a weirdo. Either way, I figured they are worth holding on to.
Come on, Eldrick.