Monday Hangover - 6.22.09

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hottomato.jpgFollowing the prolific and always titillating Jojo Timmins is a tall order since my main contributions to Steve's Word are a few pseudonymous comments. Oh well, here it is:

What were you most looking forward to this weekend?

I was looking forward to raising enough money to relocate the best thing in my hometown, an excellent pizza and beer place called The Hot Tomato. The whys are a long story that can be read on their website.  It went great, we had 10 bands in 10 hours and people showed up in hordes so I think it made some money.  After that I was hoping for some kind of tractor pull or demolition derby or tobacco chewathon like they're always doin' 'round here.  I guess that was too much culture to hope for in one weekend.

Any additions to your netflix queue?

the-sweet-little-lady-i-watched-fight-club-with.JPGOMG y'all! I just sat through Kill Bill with my dad and my 90 year old grandmother (she is pictured here for your discomfort). After enduring Fight Club with those two last February, Kill Bill was really nothing.  My dad is a stubborn, stubborn man whose sense of shame is trumped only by his thrift.  He had queued those movies so, by god, he was going to watch them, no matter how awkward, because he paid good money for them!  I took a "very important call" at the first sign of Helena Bonham Carter while my poor dad soldiered through it with his 90 year old mother occasionally shouting "Oh hush up!" at the screen.  Dad wasn't impressed with Fight Club at all but he doesn't believe in letting Netflix get one over on him.  He liked Kill Bill better although he found parts of it "foul".  Hmmm, no shit.

The three of us have a weekly movie night and for the most part it goes without a hitch.  My dad's queue has actually produced some pretty good stuff suitable for all three generations; a Gene Hackman western called Bite the Bullet that I liked a lot , the really wonderful Hard Times (somebody should have warned me to watch this with my drool rag handy because Charles Bronson makes 54 look hot and amazing), Coppolla's Peggy Sue Got Married, Bound For Glory starring the sadly dead David Carradine, Thief (Michael Mann/James Caan),  Reilly; Ace of Spies.  I've enjoyed the surprises in dad's queue enough that I'll forgive Kill Bill and Fight Club.

What story from the current news cycle is bugging you?

Iran! Yipes!  The Neda video? That is the very saddest most graphic and disheartening thing a person could ever watch on Father's Day - or any day really.

How's that big life decision going?

As Brian Eno once wrote,  "We are the 801, we are the central shaft .

And thus throughout two years we've crossed the ocean in our little craft (Row! Row! Row).  Now we're on the telephone, making final arrangements (Ding! Ding!)."

What's the single most annoying thing you had to deal with this weekend?

That last question. That godawful question!  Get rid of it!! Eeeek!

What was the biggest disappointment of the weekend?

Losing my camera's battery charger has hit me pretty hard.  I wanted to take pictures for this hangover article but thanks to the lost charger that didn't happen.

Review a movie, tv episode, book, article, restaurant (or meal) or sporting event in one sentence (the one sentence part is pretty loose).

For connoisseurs of being ignored and for those who enjoy having their telephone calls fall into an endless abyss once they've dialed, I recommend the Colorado Department of Labor Unemployment Benefits Helpline which sends all calls received into an eternal and meditative "zone of silence".

What was the funniest thing you heard or saw this weekend?

My elderly neighbor, J.D., hates cats in his yard so he's created this tiny, remote controlled, anti-cat windmill that hurls dog food or small rocks at cat level.  It makes this loud whirring sound and the cats go running off.  This is paralyzingly hilarious and also illegal within city limits. I love cats and all but this is too funny to ruin.

What was the unfunniest thing you heard or saw this weekend?

It's all funny out here.

Did you do anything this weekend you've never done before?  If yes, please summarize.

I snuck into J.D.'s yard late Friday night to take a picture of the cat-be-gone machine.  The stakes were high since J.D. is the type of old fellow who devises remote controlled dog food throwers just to keep a few cats off his grass.  That's when I discovered that my camera battery was dead.  With a silent but heartfelt "GODDAMMIT!",  I climbed back through his hedge and went to bed.


  • 1

    AMEN on the Colorado Department of Labor Unemployment Benefits Helpline. I been trying to reach those sons of bitches for months. It's like I always say, I ain't got m' check, I cain't pay to get erect.

    You've done us contributors, and Colorado, very proud.

  • 2

    That's really sweet of you Mr. Timmins.
    You're a deity around here, and other places too I'm sure, so, "thanks".
    If I still lived on Corona and Colfax I'd invite you over for beers with my ex half-sister-in-law. She's an expert hairdresser, a Heather Locklear lookalike who knows her way around endangered follicles.

    Nil Sine Numine,

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