What if Command+D ran a newspaper? More specifically what if he ran a newspaper that wasn't about to be closed, like all those ones in the real world? What kind of stories would he print? Well, first of all I don't think I would print anything too topical or newsworthy; because then you have to follow up and make sure you're correct and pay attention to the world around you. No, no, no! Command+D would run a paper where he only had to mention some random meme once and let it take its course. I think it would look a little like this: 1. Duke Ellington and the Clash are Related 2. Hopes for Colonization and Exploitation of Second Earth Bolstered 3. Thieves are Smart 4. We may not have to Use Oil for the Rest of Our Natural Lives 5. How to Get Ahead in Life: A Special Report 6. The CIA Put a Chip in My Brain and I'm Omnipontent 7. This Story Doesn't Matter, but It's Interesting Anyway 8. A Cute Little Fluff Piece (NSFW) 9. Command+D's Task Force Brings Justice 10. More Extremely Important News Oh, by the way, this whole newspaper exists. It's called the New York Times. Maybe you've heard of it? I'm the owner and only author of it, so now you know. Big news, huh?
Come on, Eldrick.