Ask Mr. Manners, with Buenos the Cat

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buenosheadshot01.jpgMr. Buenos, the time has come that someone finally asks you, as an expert on social norms, what are the basic wedding etiquette rules?  People are getting married left and right and I simply don't know a lot about weddings.  For example, if someone sends you an invite and you can't attend their wedding (because its in Bermuda) do you still have to send them a gift?  I mean, obviously they only sent the invitation in order to get a gift from me, but I don't even know this chick anymore because we were friends in elementary school.  Also, what's that whole "Something old, something new, something . . . " blah blah blah.  Does anyone do that shit anymore?  Do you have to invite every single member of your family to a wedding?  If I go to a wedding as someone's guest, do I still have to buy the bride and groom a present?  What about if I crashed a wedding once and I still feel guilty about it?  Should I send them a gift or simply fess up? What I'm looking for is the straight talk express about weddings. Thanks for your advice! -Bridezilla

¡Aye Mami!  So many questions!  The Buenos might need to place a limit on how many questions he answers in one email!  One at a time, B!  Now to answer your question(s) I must disclose that I have never been a bride since I am a male cat and cannot be married.  But let us suppose that I could get married.  I think for me it would be most important that I had all my closest friends around which would be basically my owners, my long lost brother Noches, and my fellow cat, Trixie.  After that I do not think I would care about sayings about old and new things or about presents, with the exception of food gifts or donations of bodily fluids for me and my bride to feast upon.  In your situation, B, I think if you cannot be at the wedding, then give a gift but make the gift something they can eat and enjoy and that won't cost you so much that you are upset about giving it.  Maybe a loaf of banana bread will do the trick.  When inviting friends and family to a wedding, you will do best to invite all the people you really want to be there.  If this is too many people consider making the wedding a pot luck.  As to crashing a wedding, if the bride and/or groom enjoyed having you there and you were able to pet them behind the ears or on their bellies than that ought to be a gift in its own right.  Remember, B, a wedding is supposed to be about sharing in the joy of finding a life long mate, not about who owes whom favors, presents, and bodily fluids.

Wedding bells in your future?  Ask Buenos any and all the questions you want at buenos@stevesword.com.

1 Comment

  • 1

    Straight up now tell me! Yes indeed Buenos. You speak the truth.

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