Ask Mr. Manners, with Buenos the Cat

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buenosheadshot01.jpgI've been living in the Northwest for about 6 months now, and gone on a handful of what I thought were dates with who I thought were fine gentlemen.  In more than one instance, however, I found out that they were dating other people at the same time!  How do I avoid these flighty polyamorists? - Sincerely, Suckered in Seattle

The Buenos has to wonder which way Northwest is because he does not know.  I am sorry for your confusion, SS, but I also must ask as a cat and as a male, what is wrong with being polyamorous?  If I was not so frightened of going outside, I would follow my animal urges and attempt to mate every cat that crossed my path.  I would have already tried that with my housemate, Trixie, but she is both fixed and fearsome.  She swats at me when I try and sniff her glands and on top of that her glands don't carry that fertile musk that gets my greedy little cat member going.  Perhaps I should try and see it more from your perspective though, SS.  Afterall, you clearly don't want to follow the polyamorist lifestyle that the Buenos wishes he could.  I think maybe I would begin by sniffing around their crotch area to see if they carry the scent of other women before I agreed to let them mount you (or go out with them).  If this is too direct for your human sensibilities then perhaps asking a few subtle questions will give you the propper sense for these prospective suitors.  Ask them who they live with and how they know their dwelling companions.  Ask them how they feel about free love.  Perhaps you could even ask if they are seeing anyone else.  These types of screening questions may seem obvious but they serve a purpose, not only for your information but for his too.  He will know that you are a one cat kind of girl and that you are interested in him not just for friendship but also for possible mating.  ¡Feliz caza! (happy hunting)!

Polyamorous? Monamorous? Nonamorous? Ask Buenos your love/non-love questions yourself at buenos@stevesword.com.

1 Comment

  • 1

    Thank you Buenos! I really appreciate your help and advice. I plan on sniffing every man's crotch right away from here on out.

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