Ask Mr. Manners, with Buenos the Cat

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buenosheadshot01.jpgBuenos, help me!  My nine-year-old boy, Walter, went missing months ago from our little house in Los Angeles and now the police have given me another child and insisted that this new boy is my son, Walter, and that in the months that Walter went missing he's changed.  When I told him that Walter was three inches taller than the boy they had given me and that this boy was circumcised while Walter was not they told me I was crazy and that they would put me in a mental institution if I brought the whole thing up again.  I want my dear sweet Walter back, but I can't turn to the police.  What should I do?  - Concerned Christine

¡Jesucristo!  I am so sincerely sorry to hear about your predicament, CC. CC and her son Walter I need to ask a few questions to better help you.  What is a mental institution?  What is circumcised?  I do not understand these things, because you see I am a house-bound cat.  What I do understand is that you're going through some terrible times.  You see I too have lost members of my family and have been given away to another family.  I was lucky because while the new family constantly criticizes my weight and my propensity for human bodily fluids, they genuinely care about me andbuenosbrothernochessm.jpg feed and play with me.  Not only that but they took me away from a place where I was kept in a cage with hundreds of other cats who were mostly old, crazy, and diseased.  It was in this terrible place that my long lost brother, Noches, was taken one day from the cage we shared and I never saw him again.  I wept and wept over him but was helpless.  I asked the other cats but many of them were delusional or they only spoke Cat English which I did not understand until later.  I was frightened and alone.  So great was the Buenos' despair that I could not eat or sleep.  It wasn't long before my owners came and took me away and though I was terrified of them for several weeks I knew the new house that they had taken me too was a better place.  The only other cat here is named Trixie and though she truly hated the Buenos at first we have grown to love one another and she has taught me proper Cat English.  I have not forgotten Noches though!  I pray the Salve every night for his safe return and now, CC, I will do the same for your Walter too!  I am not sure what else you can do as a human who can make telephone calls and leave your house, but I hope someone reading this article can help you.  I think the best advice I can give to you is to put your faith in Jesus and he will hear you!  Maybe you can also go to a church and the minister can lead a public campaign on your behalf in order to expose the corruption of the LAPD.  Good luck and know that you have the Buenos praying for you too.


        Dios te salve, Reina y Madre de misericordia, vida, dulzura y esperanza nuestra; Dios te salve. A Ti llamamos los desterrados hijos de Eva; a Ti suspiramos, gimiendo y llorando, en este valle de lágrimas. Ea, pues, Señora, abogada nuestra, vuelve a nosotros esos tus ojos misericordiosos; y después de este destierro muéstranos a Jesús, fruto bendito de tu vientre. ¡Oh clementísima, oh piadosa, oh dulce siempre Virgen María!

If you know anything about Walter or Buenos' long lost brother Noches, please contact immediately.  Have any other questions about manners?  Email that to Buenos too.

Tags: mr., manners, cat, buenos, ask

1 Comment

  • 1

    This article the work of the author's health. I have always followed this style of writing was sequel. I already saw the youtube video site video about it. also a member of a group I am in the .

    Thank you to the article author.

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