Dear Buenos, I've read all your columns and they've really helped me out so first and foremost, thank you.  My question for you is this:  what gives your life meaning? Most humans write out of a sense of ego?  Is this true for you as well? - Bored in Boca Raton

For the Buenos there is only one meaning for life -- to serve God!  If you are searching for meaning in your life BIBR, I encourage you to follow the righteous path laid out in the Bible.  Go and worship in His house and I guarantee God will show you your purpose here on Earth.  I am confined to study His word here in the apartment because I am a cat and cannot (and am afraid to) go outside.  Also, very few churches grant that animals can have immortal souls.  That's why even though the Buenos is a Catholic as his mother raised him to be, he pays tribute at home.  I've constructed a little shrine to Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe, under the couches.  There I have three pizza crusts, four ear-wax-laden Q-tips, and a ball of tissue-paper filled with dried human semen that I have given to Her and no matter how much I want to eat those offerings I show my austerity.  It is along these lines that I write these columns, BIBR.  You see God has given me wisdom and vision and I must use that to do good for all, especially for those who are not yet found!  I earn nothing from writing, but if you like my words, you are welcome to donate any of your bodily fluids to my shrine.  ¡La paz sea con vosotros, BIBR!