Ask Mr. Manners, with Buenos the Cat

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Ask Mr. Manners, with Buenos the Cat

Dear Buenos, I've read all your columns and they've really helped me out so first and foremost, thank you.  My question for you is this:  what gives your life meaning? Most humans write out of a sense of ego?  Is this true for you as well? - Bored in Boca Raton

For the Buenos there is only one meaning for life -- to serve God!  If you are searching for meaning in your life BIBR, I encourage you to follow the righteous path laid out in the Bible.  Go and worship in His house and I guarantee God will show you your purpose here on Earth.  I am confined to study His word here in the apartment because I am a cat and cannot (and am afraid to) go outside.  Also, very few churches grant that animals can have immortal souls.  That's why even though the Buenos is a Catholic as his mother raised him to be, he pays tribute at home.  I've constructed a little shrine to Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe, under the couches.  There I have three pizza crusts, four ear-wax-laden Q-tips, and a ball of tissue-paper filled with dried human semen that I have given to Her and no matter how much I want to eat those offerings I show my austerity.  It is along these lines that I write these columns, BIBR.  You see God has given me wisdom and vision and I must use that to do good for all, especially for those who are not yet found!  I earn nothing from writing, but if you like my words, you are welcome to donate any of your bodily fluids to my shrine.  ¡La paz sea con vosotros, BIBR!

Tags: advice, buenos

1 Comment

  • 1

    Your words awaken the spirit in so many, Buenos con Dios. Feel free to check the bathroom trash for tampons this week ;)

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