Ask Mr. Manners, with Buenos the Cat

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Ask Mr. Manners, with Buenos the Cat

Hello Buenos,  I'm proud to say that I got a new job as a loan officer at my bank about a month ago.  I'd been out of work for about two months and I really needed a job so now I have one and I'm very grateful for it.  The bad news is that I've been indulging in more and more elaborate meals at fancy restaurants and exercising less because of this new job.  I just don't have that much time to cook or to work out anymore.  Already I've put on about six or seven pounds and I can really feel it in my waistline.  My question for you is what kind of reasonable workout or diet plan should I institute?  I need something realistic with my new schedule.  Also, how do you manage to look so slender in all your photos? - Portly in Portland

¡Congratulaciones, PIP!  I always like to hear stories about people eating well.  The Buenos too has been getting a little bigger these days.  My main method of concealing this from my owners is to make sure that I lay flat on my stomach.  This hides it from view and if I feel like I need to roll onto my back I'll stretch out to create the illusion that I'm more slender.  When I'm walking around I try not to take too many quick steps while others are watching because that tends to make my big black belly bounce from side to side as I walk.  That's pretty much it.  As for eating too much, I've often found that if I am feeling like I've had too much delicious cat food, I will use the grease/saliva mixture in my mouth to extensively clean my silky black coat.  Sometimes the hair I ingest makes me sick and I can eh, vomitar (is that the English way to say it?) up an extra yummy treat in the cat box for later.  It sounds like you don't have much free time PIP, so I guess I would say that you could probably do the most for yourself by exercising in order to get your food.  I enjoy hunting moths in the bathroom and they are so crunchy and gooey and delicious, so maybe you could try that.  Most of all, don't be too hard on yourself, I like to think of my girth as a sign to all that I'm a success.  Be proud of your job by flaunting the gut that it gave you!  ¡Ciao!

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  • 1

    Bravo Buenos, thank you for helping us all be content with our bodies. I always feel skinnier next to you!

  • 2

    As I always say, "fat bitches need loving too," and I'm one fat bitch. Thanks for loving me and yourself, Buenos.

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