Hi Buenos! Long time reader, first time questioner. I recently lost a loved one after a long battle with leukemia. They fought very hard for a very long time and unfortunately the disease took its course. In passing, however, it was revealed to my brother and I that our deceased friend had very deep pockets and he left my brother and I with a large sum of money. Now my brother and I are fighting like cats and dogs (no pun intended). I don't want to disgrace the courageous battle that was our friend's life, but I also don't think that an even split is fair since my brother was no where to be seen until he hears that our friend was about to croak. What should I do? - Jules in Chicago
Man, JC, you don't beat around the bush do you? When you and another are put in a delicate situation like this, I suggest you do what I do when Trixie and I each get our half can of wet cat food in the morning. Who ever eats their half first will sneak in and eat the other half can of cat food as soon as our adversary isn't looking. Usually I'm the winner in this game, which might explain why Trixie is in such a foul mood most days. I'm sorry that your cruel friend has pitted you against your own flesh and blood, but sometimes you just gotta take care of numbero uno (that's me)! Give both you and your brother access to all of the bounty and then see who can spend it the fastest. I am, of course, a cat and not an attorney so I may operate under a few assumptions which may or may not be true; like the assumption that money, like cat food, will go bad in a matter of hours after it has been opened. What are you waiting for?! Your brother might have started into the money while you were reading this.
Buenos may be many things, but he isn't late for dinner. He also will answer your questions too -- email@example.com.
Come on, Eldrick.