Ask Mr. Manners, with Buenos the Cat

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buenosDear Buenos, I've been working a dead-end job for years at the convenience store down the road from my house and I'm really thinking about quitting.  I don't have any savings and yet I find myself dreading every day.  I'mincreasingly depending on alcohol and drugs to get me through the evenings.  I'm growing a gut and loosing my sex appeal.  Lately I haven't even been going down to my favorite bar, Scooters, to hang out with my buddies and ogle the ladies.  I just order some Pizza Hut or Wendy's and watch TV until about 2 am.  The worst part is that I don't really have any idea what I'd do for work if I quit at the store.  Any advice helps!  - Boise Drifter

BD, I think I know where you're coming from.  I have never worked a day in my cat life, but there have been times when I've wondered what a different life would be like.  I think it all comes from my lingering thoughts ofNoches , my long-lost brother.  He and I were very different even from a young age but I like to think about what his life might be like right now.  Usually I wonder if he's living a life of adventure on his own.  Perhaps he managed to hitch a ride home to the land of our birth in search of the mother we never knew.  Maybe he lives with one old lady and seventeen other cats like the woman across the street.  I like to think that he's catching mice in the back-yard of some warm and sunny home with a loving family to care for him.  When I see some of the stray cats outside I realize there's a good chance he could be one of these homeless cats.  This brings me back to my original point.  After seeing the homeless cats I have decided that I really like having a roof over my head and a meal in my belly (not to mention theoccasional dried blood from a squashed mosquito on the wall -- a seasonal joy of mine).  So I've decided to stick with what I've got.  I don't have to go to a terrible job though.  My suggestion is that in order to pull your life together, you must create a plan for yourself that is both realistic and reaches some goals.  If you want to quit, you better have a few cans ofcat food in the cupboard before you do that.  I don't know what Scooters, or Pizza Huts are or how Wendy fits into this picture, but I think it is best to keep it simple and cut out all thedistractions.  Maybe you could learn a few new tricks at a school or from one of those books that my owners occasionally stare at for hours.  Then you can get treats for doing these new tricks from people who think that it is cute or something.

Buenos tells it like it is, folks.  If you are ready for some tough love, email him today at buenos@stevesword.com.

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