Ask Mr. Manners, with Buenos the Cat

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buenosheadshot01.jpgAs you may have heard, there's all this talk in the news about Swine Flu and I'm nervous to eat anything pig-based.  I already don't eat cow or any type of bird for fear of Mad Cow Disease or Avian Flu and now I'm gonna have to give up pork chops and bacon too?  This isn't even to mention my departure from spinach, peanut products or even tomatoes.  I don't want to have to be afraid of all these delicious foods, but I also don't want to get myself or those I cook for sick.  What do you suggest? - Paranoid in Pensacola

Perhaps you have not read many of my articles because if you had, you would already know how the Buenos would answer this question.  I eat everything that I can as often as I can, which is why I have gained two pounds since my last visit to the vet.  I knew my cat girth felt more formidable before we even went for my felineleukemia booster shots but two pounds is a lot more Buenos than even I had suspected.  Now the doc says I must diet and loose one entire pound!  That's like fifteen to twenty pounds for you humans out there!  ¡Aye! Mi dulce gato panzaI do not know if this is even possible for me with all the treats around, like the molding strawberry stems that fell just behind the fridge, or the snot-filled tissues from the trashcan near the bed of my owners (who are thankfully getting better from their cold).  Even my favorite seasonal treat, moths or spiders, are supposed to be off limits, though I get the feeling that my owners will overlook a fly hear or acentipede there.  Anyway, let me tell you a secret about all of these foods I love.  None of them have ever gotten the Buenos sick at all.  When I hear about each of these food scares, I hear them say the number of people who have died from eating peanut butter.  While I feel terrible for each of these people's families, I also have to take into account all the people who have eaten peanut products and have not gotten sick.  That makes me feel better about eating the canned cat food.  One last word of advice about these things.  The nose knows.  Trust in your own instincts because even though your human sense of scent is so much weaker than mine, your species didn't make it out of the Ice Ages by listening to newspapers stories designed to whip you into a food panic.

Buenos will answer your next questions from the treadmill.  Ask away at

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