Now that the news is not only official but seems to have actually stuck, I have some words about the Brett Favre Soap Opera that has unfolded over the past month. In case you don’t care about sports, but are reading this article anyway, here’s a quick rundown of the important events that occurred: Brett Favre, much heralded quarterback of the Green Bay Packers, retired at the end of last season and the Packers then installed their back-up Aaron Rodgers (who they drafted four years ago with the express purpose of having him replace Favre one day) as their starter. Then Favre said he wanted to come back and the Packers offered him $20 million to stay retired.

After about forty little strategic moves and a full month of maneuvering, Favre ends up on the Jets in exchange for some draft picks, number and round determined by the success of the Jets’ season. Here’s a prediction: the Jets wont do that well and Favre will retire and stay retired at the end of this season. Kind of makes one wonder why he would even come back at all.

Introduction to “Hott Lixx“, a blog by Marcus “Jojo” Timmins, lead guitarist of the Denver Metro Area metal band Hidden Valley Man Ranch.

Blasting out of the Denver metro area’s guts like vomit from a bum, Hidden Valley Man Ranch singlehandedly revolutionized the Colorado Sex-Rock landscape from 1982 to 1985. Releasing two, count ‘em two, self-produced, self-printed, and self-distributed LPs, “All Cumshot No Foreplay” in 1983 and 1985’s swan song “Early Bird Special,” the Man Ranch pierced every convention in the books, shattering Denver music sales records like an old lady’s hip after a hard night of bingo ‘n drugs. Touring every city in west-central Colorado, from Arvada all the way to Broomfield, playing every bar, from the Gapin’ Crevasse on E. Colfax to Tod’s Joint on Harvest Avenue West, Hidden Valley Man Ranch was a white-hot phenomenon of the highest regard. Memorable hits like “Stuck in the Middle (of a Broken Heart)”, “Extra Hott”, and “Early Bird Special” helped HVMR lovingly cling to the brains (and genitalia) of central Coloradoans like a facehugger from Aliens, propelling bandmembers to superstar status within Denver’s “Rock Triangle,” the hallowed land between Edgewater, Wheat Ridge, and sexy, sleazy Mountain View.

But these things never last.

I was innocently cruising our site the other night when I noticed that the same person, the aforementioned Ed Weems, had left several comments on the site. At first, like an a total naif, I was excited because a comment left means that someone actually read one of our columns. But, my excitement quickly dwindled when I got a look at his sarcastic remarks about the three columns that he had commented on [the tally is now up to seven]. Look, I wont sugarcoat things, clearly Ed isn’t a fan of The Word, and the truth is that’s OK. It’s just something I have to get used to.

According to early reports, one of the girls from the pact employed the services of a 24 year-old homeless man to knock her up. Well, because Steve’s Word has a sense of duty to get to the bottom of every news story, we went up to Gloucester looking for this homeless man. Being graduates of the Carmen San Diego’s School of Gumshoes, we found him. Check out our interview. You can watch it on YouTube too.

As much as I try to fight it, the future just gets closer and closer. For some that means lots of excitement but for me it means weddings. Many, many weddings. Look, I gave it my all, I really did, but there’s simply no getting around it anymore. I’ve sent in my RSVPs, tried on my suit (it needs to be altered) and spent some time online perusing the registries of the couples who will be tying their knots this summer. As I browsed these lists of china, glasses, cutlery and other assorted and overpriced crap, I was suddenly filled with tremendous anxiety. What is an appropriate gift for my friend of twenty-three years? What about a friend of five years to whom I professionally owe a great deal? Exactly how many champagne flutes make a set? Why would anyone want a dish they can’t ever use for fear of breaking it?

Midnight screenings of blockbusters are a weird phenomena, if not for the dedicated and exorbitant fan frenzy that abruptly appears as every person aged 17-35 sidles out of the woodworks to buy tickets weeks ahead of time, edging out the majority of the general population who were too slow punching in their credit card numbers online, but for the somewhat insane efforts put into being the first in line for the theater of said blockbuster film. This couldn’t be more true for the latest installment in the Batman series “The Dark Knight.” Having purchased my ticket two weeks in advance from Fandango, I confess that I am one of the eager beavers whose love for ‘the Batman’ is nearly unmatched thus constituting attendance at the first possible showing; it would not have been tolerable to see it at any other time.  When it comes to Batman, I always find myself becoming irrationally determined to be at the theater before everyone else with my pre-paid ticket. Luckily for me, my roommate Lucy and friend Scott were obsessive equals when it came to seeing this film. Days of suspense finally came to a halt, and on July 17 we trotted a few blocks from our apartment to the theater, skipping giddily and engaging in Batman trivia.

Whyte Boyz II Whyte Men perform this classic love ballad on a rooftop in Bushwick, Brooklyn, NY. American Spirit Wolf Productions, the company that makes our videos, got their hands on a Glide-Cam and figured this was the best way to test it out.

Directed by Hype Williams.

btw, imitation is the best form of flattery.

Watch it on YouTube.

As the staff here at Steve’s Word progresses from being a group of fun-loving, socially jilted men in their mid-twenties to fun-loving, socially jilted men in their early-late-twenties our concerns have shifted a bit. All of our friends are either married or are getting married. Thankfully, none of us are yet, but the topic is constantly in our realm of existence and it needs to be mocked. I’ve put together a list of the ten worst ways you can propose to your sweetheart because, if nothing else, we’re here to help.

I was at a movie the other day when a woman sat down next to me five minutes before the film ended. Five minutes. And, as if that wasn’t bad enough, she then started talking. To me. She leaned in close to me and in a loud whisper asked me how long ago it had started. So I told her, “an hour and forty-five minutes ago” barely able to hide my disgust and anger. She could only muster a weak “Oh” in return and then I went in for the kill. “Yes,” I told her, “I hope you enjoy the end credits.” Then she told me I was a rude young man and the guy behind me asked me to quiet down. And I spent the last five minutes of the movie wondering why there aren’t enough 19 year-old kids to monitor the halls so people can’t just wander in and out of theaters at their leisure.

It’s finally here. The Steve’s Word Store. Now all of your friends can ask you, “what the hell is Steve’s Word?” as you proudly display our logo on your t-shirts, grocery bags, hat, and coffee mug. We’ll also have special seasonal items, such as our Barrack and Michelle “Pounds for Peace” t-shirt which you’ll see below.

In order to help promote our little venture we headed to the beach and did a little fashion shoot. Check out all our hot, sexy & silly pix taken by photographer Jessica Sain.

http://www.cafepress.com/steveswordstore

(please excuse the bizarre formatting. we are limited by our intelligence.)